TTB #4: Laura at The "Thinking" Housewife

http://www.thinkinghousewife.com

WOMEN! I mean, LADIES! Here are some things Laura Wood, The "Thinking" Housewife, would like you to know about your relationship with the world generally:

1. Men deserve jobs before you do.

Over the last 50 years, America has witnessed the cultural ruin of its women. When women fall, an entire way of life and civilization itself are not far behind. . . . We need ultimately to reverse existing laws and practices. First and foremost, we must restore customary economic discrimination in favor of men. America’s businesses and institutions must be free once again to favor men over women in hiring. If they are not, family life will never return to a reasonable state of health; the happiness of women and children will continue to decline; and men will fail to flourish and prosper.
-Why We Must Discriminate

Don't worry, though, honeycakes. You'll still get a job if you really want one, because "Women even remain a majority in certain fields, such as education, low-level office work, psychology and nursing. These fields are suited to the interruptions of family life, to the years before marriage, and to the natural skills of women." (See also Jobs for Men First.)

2. Selfish feminist boastful conceited power-hungry WHORES who don't ever get pregnant (thereby increasing their risk for ovarian cancer) ruin perfectly nice days out for nice ladies by insisting on tying their gaudy green ribbons everywhere:

The town where I live is festooned with green ribbons. They are tied to trees in the shopping district, to streetlights, to parking meters and to signs. What does all this festivity signify? Ovarian cancer. The ribbons are part of a campaign to make us more sensitive to this terrible disease. They are the green counterpart to the familiar pink ribbons of breast cancer campaigns.

Cancer is evil. Everyone should contribute to the worthy battle against it. But, if we are going to express our concern for this grave matter with sentimental displays of ribbons, why not ribbons for all cancer? If we must select one, let it be a childhood cancer.

These ribbons depress me. They depress me not simply because cancer kills. They are a sickly-sweet reminder of the boastful conceit of women. Power makes women selfish.
-Tie A Green Ribbon

3. You cannot be a drill sergeant:

When women start barking orders at grown men, the delicate balance of power between the sexes is disturbed. Women are mothers and wives, lovers and friends to men. These roles are damaged by domineering bossiness. Male psychology is radically different from female psychology. After all, mothers are women. There is no more significant fact than that.
-A Woman Drill Sergeant

or a police chief:

A woman in command, no matter how likable or competent, is likely to disrupt that atmosphere simply because she is a woman. Even a woman’s voice is less authoritative. A police chief must react harshly to any infractions by officers. Men do not like being dressed down by a woman and no amount of wishful thinking is going to change that fact of male psychology. In general, it’s impossible for men and women to interact in a neutral way. You mentioned that you’re friend was pro-life, which brings up another issue. A pregnant police chief is an affront to decency and common sense. Personally, I hate seeing police women except those doing office work or traffic control. A society that puts women in the job of defending men has lost respect for femininity and concern for its own safety.
-Woman in Chief

or a priest:

• Women get pregnant. The idea of pregnant women leading Christian services is offensive, as the pregnant woman is already engaged in an entirely different holy office. Likewise, a woman cannot be both a mother and a priest. The two roles are mutually exclusive.

• There cannot be celibate clergy living in coed conditions. Women priests necessitate married priests, changing the foundation of the priesthood in the case of Catholicism and increasing the costs of supporting priests. Estranged, separated or divorced priests, as well as priests with very large families or who use birth control, would all present complications.

• Women are different from men. They possess a different psychology, attuned more to interpersonal relations. The priesthood demands the presence of a priest at the most intimate events in a person’s life, including sickness, death, marriage and baptism. While a man can remain detached from these emotional occurrences, a woman by her very nature cannot.

• Men are better theologians. The number of brilliant female theologians is not large enough to fill a moderately-sized powder room. Even average theologians are much more often men.

• The appearance of women on the altar is distracting because a woman’s appearance is always distracting.

• Women are likely to turn the priesthood into full-time social work, in keeping with their maternal nature.

• Women do not like being led by women. This is a widely proven fact of female psychology. Whether they recognize it or not, women do not want women priests.

• Men tend to leave any profession dominated by women. Women will dominate the priesthood once it is open to them.
-Two Fools Speak on Women and Religion

4. White is Right! Wait, I mean, if you're a feminist, you've emasculated men and thereby . . . somehow . . . caused interracial marriage?

Feminism and miscegenation are interconnected. Only a society which has emasculated men would openly condone intermarriage. Let me change that. Only a society in which white men have been emasculated would see the sort of tolerance for and celebration of intermarriage we are experiencing today.
-Mrs. Tiger

And furthermore:

M., a male reader, states that he is indifferent to the personal sufferings of the famous golfer’s wife. Her choice of a husband was a form of betrayal that angers him "on a very deep, existential level." The reader’s comment illustrates something that many white women refuse to acknowledge: Miscegenation offends white men at the core of their being.
-The Golfer’s Wife

[Please note that since I first took note of this post, she has changed "white men" to "some men." Poor old offended men, though, eh?]

5. You must NEVER attempt to use an unoccupied toilet without a chaperone:

Annie Le, the graduate student murdered at Yale last week, was alone in a basement laboratory when she was attacked. This makes no sense in today’s world, even in buildings with secure entry. Young women should not be alone in isolated corridors, offices or rest rooms. Ever.
-The Undefended Annie Le

6. You are possibly entirely incapable of behaving properly when given a little bit of freedom:

Until that day when our divorce laws are reformed, men must become wiser about how to handle the capriciousness of women. A significant minority of women are constitutionally incapable of handling the marital freedoms our society has granted them. I recommend Michelle Langley’s book The Infidelity of Women, available for download on the Internet. I don’t fully agree with Langley, but she gives some good advice for men. The problem isn’t simply infidelity, but the wandering spirit of women. Our society encourages them to indulge romantic dreams of a life beyond their first marriage.
How to Save the West

7. Last, but most importantly, sweeping is SO FRICKING AWESOME:

More importantly, sweeping is fascinating, captivating, deeply intriguing. Why try to sell it’s virtues when they so clearly speak for themselves? We are alive. As we sweep, we are alive and our minds are free.
-Should Smart Women Sweep?

Screw everything else. For that last bit of absolute nonsense, I beg, I urge, I implore you to Troll This Blog. (If you decide to, be aware that you must email her your comments. She does seem to publish the occasional dissenting view.)

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(Oh god, there's just so much more that I can't fit in here. If you're amused, see also:

Lesbian Nation: Will It Last?
The Overly Affectionate Mother and The Well-Dressed Socialist (aka Michelle Obama is a TERRIBLE WOMAN)
Miss, Mrs. and Mizzzz
Herstory is History ("Mary Daly wasn't particularly pretty! I would now like to celebrate her death, just like my lord and savior Jesus Christ would want me to!")